My first memory of an animal other than a human, is a dog. Anyone who knows me knows that I love dogs and that is why a dog paw is the heart of my logo.

The hardest days of my life have been losing my dad to prostate cancer in 2015, losing my dog sibling Fluffy when I was 15, and Wednesday, August 7, 2019 when prostate cancer placed us in the unenviable position of having to make the choice to have our Bluetick Coonhound, Blue, put to sleep. While I am grateful to have the freedom to make that very difficult choice, that does not make it easy. He looked healthy and he sounded healthy, but he could no longer empty his intestines and bladder without tremendous effort and pain because the tumor had grown so large.

We still have our 2 other dogs AND there is void in the house, an energy missing that is palpable. There is a hole in my heart that will take time to heal. I am grateful for that hole because it represents love and vulnerability and the ability to be brave and openhearted even when the eventual outcome is not what we want.

Along with small children, dogs are the best representation of openhearted, unconditional companionship I have ever experienced. This is what motivates me to foster puppies with medical issues who would otherwise be euthanized, why I educate on the importance of spay and neuter at every opportunity, and part of the reason why I became The Poetosopher so I could give part of my income to dogs in need.

Value your canine companions for there are no guarantees how long you will have them with you. Blue is very deeply missed and cannot ever be replaced. He lives on however I our hearts and our fond memories. This poem is for Blue.

Oh Blue,
You
Must have been a beautiful puppy
Because you
Were such a handsome
Old man.
You were seven or eight
When fate
Placed
You in our home.
Hauled in again,
Found running with the wind.
Animal control who
“Arrested” you
Determined you
Were a good dog.
And put you up for adoption.

You climbed our fence
And went on your way
The very first day
You were adopted,
But your new
Dad knew
He had to catch you.
So, he ran you down,
And picked you up,
And carried you home
80 lbs, no longer gone.

You were a big one,
Mostly ears and heart tho.
You were a lover,
Not a hunter,
As they say.
Scared of thunder
It left you trembling and under
A load of anxiety
You were not really ever free
From, even when sleeping.
You could be on your feet and
Baying your support
Ready to escort,
In a nanosecond,
If your sister Ellie beckoned
With a jingle of her tags.

You LOVED bananas
For you, they were manna.
You fluffed out those big ears
And your head would appear
Around the corner.
Full anticipation
Of your banana bite
Written in your eyes,
And in your smile.

You loved the UPS truck
Announcing its arrival with a multi second bay.
It was your way
Of saying “Hey,
Over here,
See me? I’m over here!!”
I often wondered if you spent part of your life
With a UPS driver.

Going back to your eyes,
My friend was right
When she wisely advised –
You’ll see it in his eyes.
And I did.
Waking up weeping,
Knowing keeping
You alive and in pain
Was never a promise I had made.

Oh Blue,
You
Gave us almost 5 years
To love you and hear
That wonderful Bluetick Bay,
Even on your last day.
The house is so quiet now.
Even your sisters Emma and Ellie somehow
Seem to know,
From seeing and sniffing you so
Quiet and still,
That no longer will
You be in any pain.
Yet you remain
Alive and free
In our collective memories.